My husband Ray Spiteri and I met Don and Susan in 2003-when we were living in the States, having moved from Australia a year earlier. Don and Susan welcomed us into their home, put us up, were kind and generous, and we very quickly became friends. Don and Ray were collegues, with a love of Surrealism in common and they had enjoyed a close collaboration in this field for many years.
My first impressions of Don were of a big man with a big personality and a warm heart. He always made me laugh. He was witty, charming and self depreciating at times, something intrinsically part of Australian humour (easy for us to understand). I knew within an hour of knowing him that Don would be our friend forever-some people are just like that. Geographic distance does nothing to end such friendships.
When we stayed with him, Don put on some old films-something I find very comforting after a long journey. He put on a Barbara Stanwyck movie-one of my favourite actresses-and we bonded over that. Of all the beautiful actresses of the 40's and 50's - Ava Gardener, Marilyn Monroe and countless others- Barbara seemed to be Don's favourite-and it's not that surprising. Her life had been hard and her work was mesmerising. She was an abandoned child, self made, diciplined and intelligent- and she never gave up. She stood her ground. The characters she chose were often difficult, troubled women, fierce and distainful of authority. Double Indemnity was a film we both counted as a favourite.
Don quickly worked out my achilles heel-sure, I was raised by a Hippie Mum but all my childhood crushes were on Cops-in various films and tv shows- slowly, he got the information-I loved Jack Lord in Hawaii 5 0-Clint Eastwood in Magnum Force (Mum nearly disowned me over that) and the two MI5 guys (Bodie and Doyle) in the British cop show The Professionals. He laughed heartily at this, exclaiming dramatically-"What is it with you and cops, young lady?" Don concluded I must have been rebelling against my anti-authority, peace loving upbringing-and I think he was right there.
It's hard to accept Don has gone-harder to write about it. I still wish he was here. His impact on my husband's life was profound-they had a very positive, creative relationship and Don's passing leaves a huge void. I feel an immense sense of loss for him as a friend and wish so much he could have lived longer for Susan and Benjamin and others, near and dear to him. I'll never forget his generosity and kindness.
It has been an amazing gift to have known such a wonderful, spirited and dedicated person. We'll always hold him close in our hearts. Sending love to you, Susan and Benjamin xxx
Your friends,
Melissa and Ray
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