i hate myself

was the title of one of the last e-mail exchanges I had with don. of course, it was in reference to joan jett, who we both agreed is incredibly hot and we would both love to, well, <insert unspeakables> with her. one of the things i so love(d) (it's so hard to be in the past tense) about don was that he told the most incredible stories and i remember that he had one about jj. although i can't remember the specifics, i do know don had me and peyton rolling, i know the conversation pleasurably ebbed into the bizarre, and I know we loved every moment of it.

selfishly, i always wanted to station myself near don at parties--or really anywhere i saw him, including the bus stop. don had the most incredible way of making me feel special and smart and clever. clearly he had this affect on many people. and, when i say that i will miss him, i feel pathetic because i will miss him for susan and benjamin, but i will also, selfishly, miss him for myself. 

i think don would get a kick out of this blog, although i know he would prefer to sit quietly in a corner with each of us and have an intense conversation about art, history, riot grrls, decadence, and the latest and most ridiculous (embarrassing) event of each of our lives. on blogging, this is a recent conversation i had with don:

me: Hey Don,

Thought you might get a kick out of this blog (in reference to our fin de siecle convo the other night). Don’t ask me what I was looking for when I found it...

http://theflaneurblog.com/about/

Don:  i dunno... to me, blogging seems like the antithesis of the flaneur, the dandy & the decadent. but maybe i'm just hopelessly stuck in the c.19th... i have to read it more and think about it more.

******* 

the world is less fun without you, don. 

much love,

darci